it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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