i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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