when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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