i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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