she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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