I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
