i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
