Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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