I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
