No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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