the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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