ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
