Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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