he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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