I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
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When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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