The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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