I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
