Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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