My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize