I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
