definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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