break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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