Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Randomize
