So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
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Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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