so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
