I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
