I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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