Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
