Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
