Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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