Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
