ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
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