My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
