clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Do vagina's smell?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
