I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
