Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
