Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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