you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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