last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
