haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
and she was petting her beer can
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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