All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize