Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
