Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
