I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
