There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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