So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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