His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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