Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
