He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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