How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
birth control should be required to get into college
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
