I bet he comes in French.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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