Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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