I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
