i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
