I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
