Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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