O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
