FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
