She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
