You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
pray to the hookup gods