glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?