She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
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