question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
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I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
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DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?