one word: firstdatebathroomanal
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits