Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can? http://tfl.nu/psgn
  Replies (3) Good night (1048) Bad night (475)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed

  (+44): View more from England

  keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed (+44): keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction http://tfl.nu/lbnu
  Replies (18) Good night (4592) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (803): I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15 http://tfl.nu/mt2n
  Replies (33) Good night (7539) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it http://tfl.nu/fv1k
  Replies (18) Good night (4904) Bad night (1253)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year http://tfl.nu/bdbv
  Replies (9) Good night (6055) Bad night (928)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you. http://tfl.nu/45tv
  Replies (2) Good night (2784) Bad night (804)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week. http://tfl.nu/8le3
  Replies (14) Good night (7026) Bad night (1473)
• Favorite

  (514): View more from Quebec

  No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (514): No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters. http://tfl.nu/rpkb
  Replies (12) Good night (2588) Bad night (946)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident? http://tfl.nu/46ya
  Replies (16) Good night (3178) Bad night (1992)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now! http://tfl.nu/v05a
  Replies (7) Good night (1440) Bad night (440)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations. http://tfl.nu/g9dw
  Replies (1) Good night (832) Bad night (354)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire http://tfl.nu/0try
  Replies (14) Good night (2461) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week

  (1-415): View more from California

  I don't deserve you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week (1-415): I don't deserve you. http://tfl.nu/jnri
  Replies (6) Good night (2112) Bad night (280)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now http://tfl.nu/th7d
  Replies (6) Good night (263) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vpt2
  Replies (3) Good night (1142) Bad night (303)

Randomize