You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Randomize
