sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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