Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
this just has baby written all over it
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
