Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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