Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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