this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
