I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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