Three words: puerto rican gang bang
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
