so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
And then my night got REAL pukey
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
